Saturday, April 20, 2013

How Uday Chopra Ripped My Will To Live

Kitne kitno ko star banaya, apne bete ko star nahi bana paya”, quipped a chirpy RJ on a Bangalore radio station, referring to Yash Chopra’s inability to make a Bollywood sensation out of his own son after having ‘discovered’ many a faceless wonder. My little brain with its limited Bollywood knowledge tried to disagree because Aditya Chopra was as big as most mainstream Hindi actors but apparently, he wasn’t the son being ridiculed on radio. Enter Uday Chopra.

Way back in class 6, a certain multi-starrer flick had got the entire school drooling. “Aishwarya Rai comes like a ghost yaaa” was heard between numerous ‘ooh’s and ‘aah’s  directed at the leading men, all except one.  Over the next decade, the obliterated leading man made several appearances (quite understandably) in movies produced by daddy dearest. I am not of the opinion that looks make a good actor but Chopra Jr. was several notches below let-down in both departments. However, his lacklustre performances and a general deficiency of charisma were simply ignored, as were his repeated attempts to vie for the womankind’s attention against the likes of a certain John and a new Bachchan.  For all I cared, Chopra Jr. and I shared a live-and-let-live policy.

..until it was violated last week, when certain life-changing information was revealed to me. Enter Nargis Fakhri.

Now I share most Indian gentlemen’s sentiment that Nargis Fakhri isn’t hot, she’s the sun. Last week, I happened to gather that The Sun has found love in —wait for it— Chopra Jr. Without bringing up the argument if it indeed is love that is blind or if it is just Ms. Fakhri, I chose to look at the Chopra lad with a different point of view. Was there the smallest chance that he wasn’t as bad or undeserving as popular media made him out to be?

The time taken for fair evaluation could have been better utilized by helping my employer without expecting monetary compensation. She doesn’t even seem to be in it for the money, considering she’s probably made more dough from Rockstar than he has from his entire career. But I tend to drift. You must be wondering why I chose to bring up Bollywood and Page 3 this fine evening, a first in the seven years this blog has seen. Coming back again to the life-changing part of the revelation, the knowledge of a romantic relationship between these two has made me ask myself an important question: if all The Sun could manage to bag was a sub-par Chopra, what’s the best this lesser mortal can a world where even Ritesh Deshmukh is taken?

The options:



I don’t even have the heart to come up with Option C. Kindly use the comments section below to vote/suggest.


amitahuja123 said...

Awsmm yaar.. Njoyd it...
N as they say love is blind..
So dis just proves how blinding luv can really get..
N u dnt wry bout ur optnz..
A knight in shining armor is definatly waitin fr u...
Coz s normal guy wont b able to handle you.. :-P

Dhruval Mehta said...

Yar Akshatha Kaise Kaise khayal ate hei tu j:P
Anyways nicely written and u know wat after reading this blog now I do believe in blind love:P
and now I m waiting for "blind love" moment in my life also:P

ashwini :) said...

Hahahahhaha! you got me completely cracked up there!

Praveen Hegde said...

Damn funny. You should forward it to Filmfare. :D

Aditi said...

Omg hahaha The Option b was terrific :D His enter-the-tv-screen-with-thumbs-up wasn't enough and now he features in a silly 2 minute commercial with ..with Sania Mirza !!!! :o Such a torture that whole tvc is !!
Add KRK to the hot list !

Great Post ! :D

Aditi said...

Omg hahaha The Option b was terrific :D His enter-the-tv-screen-with-thumbs-up wasn't enough and now he features in a silly 2 minute commercial with ..with Sania Mirza !!!! :o Such a torture that whole tvc is !!
Add KRK to the hot list !

Great Post ! :D

Akshatha Hegde said...

Thanks, everyone. :)

Ahuja: You're absolutely right!

Mehtaji: I hope your moment comes really soon and that it lasts a lifetime. :)

Ashes: Thanks man. And come back to Facebook pretty please. :(

Hegde: That's one way to piss the Chopras off. ;)

Aditi: And the sunglasses! Don't miss the sunglasses! Google some pics of him (Rajeev Reddy). Every pic has sunglasses man.

Maybe I should buy a pair.

Arjun N Bharadwaj said...

Admit it dude. You have a thing for Uday Chopra.

Feeling all jealous, eh?

Akshatha Hegde said...

Yeah man Samadhi. Damn you saw right through me. :(

adithi gowda said...

Didn't know Tushar Kapoor was single. ;-)

School times, drooling over Hritik... Damn I literally drifted into the yellow flashback reel fr a good five minutes at office.. :-/

And you know what, this is the kind of post a single girl should never read.. :-/ :( Boohooo! :'(

adithi gowda said...

And as always, hilarious till the last word. Enjoyed reading it on a boring Tuesday morning :)

Akshatha Hegde said...

Thanks gowdu. :) And no no..single women should read this to know the kind of **** out there!

Clueless seeker said...

That broke my heart :(

Prady said...

Please tell me that Tushar Kapoor's photo is a morphed one! What the duck is that?!

Nicely written Miss. Option C - my all time favorite Himesh Reshemeyya?

Akshatha Hegde said...

Thank yous! And no no, that pic is him trying to do a John Abraham in some movie you wouldn't want to watch. Or would you?

Would have considered Himess before the hair transplant. Not a bad option though.

Vaishali Jain said...

Perfect, I say.
Akshatha, this is so damn hilarious.
Keep sharing such stuff. It does a world of good to my bored little soul.

Akshatha Hegde said...

Thanks, Vaishali. You keep it coming too. :)

Afshan said...

This made me laugh loud. Better dont zero on these options. The WORLD outside bollywood has better options. By the way yu commented on my blog asking my email id.
It is
What is it about u wanted to write to me. Let me know

Merin said...

HOLY CHOPRA! How did I miss this! Absolutely hilarious - you ought to get this published. :D