Two days straight
I stayed quiet
Lost in thought
All yours.
On the third,
I thought not of you
And since then
I have not thought.
Of those days we laughed
Shared and cared
And loved.
Of the time we spent
On grass, in water
In the moonlight together
I have not thought.
I shall not dwell
On when you'll be here
For you will be here
Tomorrow.
And then we shall live
All those days
Again, those evenings
Together.
22 comments:
Wonderful poetry. Simple and touching :)
finally. poetry ;)
'Simple and touching' is what i think too :)
somehow doesn't leave me with a sense of warmth, EVEN though the last lines appear to literally indicate it.
there is something in the structure that suggests otherwise.
is that so or is it just my despondent mind?
and no jargon, no theatrics! which is becoming so so rare to find.
@ Nakli:
Thank you. :)
@ Architect:
Umm. I don't know. :|
This is my first time with non-fictitious poetry. That is probably why it lacks 'drama'.
Nice. :)
Reminded me of some songs from The Beatles. Plain and beautiful. :)
Good to see you trying this :)
From a critic's point of view, there's a lot of room for improvement. Walk or jump around the theme and see if you can write it differently. I'm sure you can do better :)
@ Hegde:
Thank you. :)
@ Kertz:
Thank you. :) I do not want to jump around the theme, though. When you jot down exactly how you feel about somebody, jumping around the theme just isn't the way to go. :)
but thats a good thing i meant!
both the fact that it doesnt leave "me" with a sugary-pop feeling an that its devoid of theatrics.
non-fictitious poetry, sticky subject, ;)
Am i the only one who understood it to its exactness? :-p
Keep writing poetry..youre an artist..i've said it before. :-)
Ah ok... :|
Yes,tomorrow is another day.Let's hope against hope.
-Santosh
Mirror.
...
..
I NEED TO *SEE* YOU!
:,(
I loved it. :)
Simple and beautiful.
..
That McDonald's burger will feel honoured. :P
^
B-)
That was really sweet!
Nice blog u ve here!
that felt nice
looking forward to the next bit of your poetry
good one..good one
Visited your blog because I was sleepy. I am not going to say it woke me up, but at least it made me smile. Awesome poem, little sister. I hope you stay this happy. :)
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darrrling, get word verification.
dont be the singular cause for Viagra scarcity in these areas.
;)
I like reading them. Hilarious! :D
Faain. Will add word verification.
awesome....very simplistic...:)
Do you read poetry? :)
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