Friday, June 13, 2008

Tangled Waves

Finally, frustration levels have reached high enough to blog again. Without citing an excuse for temporary absence from this vent-bin, I choose to start off with the root of frustration - A 10 station FM tuner I painstakingly constructed is in coma, as is the family radio and a similar functioning unit on my cellular device. They were poisoned with sub-standard FM waves.

The advent of FM radio in India, particularly in erstwhile Bangalore was to bring back the charm of 70's and 80's radio - serve humanity with knowledge and quality entertainment, mainly good music. For a while, it did look promising to sapien species from both Vividh Bharati and Playstation eras until extortionate cloning of radio stations took charge (what competition at that!), initiating a large percentage of junta to divert their finance, attention as well as gifting trend towards a new investment - the humble mp3 player. This gizmo was such a hit that even radio set and cellular phone manufacturers included its modular version in their merchandise, fearing its possible dominance would otherwise make their products obsolete. I do not complain.

A few days ago though, out of sheer joblessness, I decided to re-examine the previously defined detritus cruising the city over FM waves and risked turning on the radio. However, just when I thought the world was forever rid of Dard-e-disco and miscellaneous Himesh Reshammiya chants, a simple channel surf revealed thus:

...Zara zara hold me hold me hold me, zara zara..

...Haaaaaaaai, neev kelta idira Radio XYZ. Sakkat hot maga! (Ah, wishful thinking.. :D)

...Oh vary happy in mai haart dil dance maare..

..the relief stop for banking and investments. Call..

...Whitu whitu whitu whitu..whitu Rajnikanthu neenu.. (Blatant racism! Ennada rascal! :X)

...Idu Bengaloorina hottest radio station.. (by far the most popular claim, placed by a minimum of 3 stations at once)

...and eef you want that goody bag, message meeee. The highest number aaf 'messager' wins! (God save the queen)

How did music on Radio dearest perish? And those fluent, charming RJs who once made radio great human company..did they give up jockeying to turn motivational speakers for the Royally Challenged? More importantly, what happened to the purpose of allotting a plethora of stations - VARIETY!? A chorus of 'Chaliya Chaliya' on alternate stations 4 times an hour surely demands a better definition of the aforementioned purpose. If anything is certain, it is the fact that the spirit of radio has drifted away to grace a funeral.

Not that all is lost, for inches of the sail are still visible. There seem to have emerged innovations which are quite endearing, albeit only a few such. The breakfast show on Radio City, a hilarious feature called Ghanta Singh that plays randomly on Radio One, nearly everything on Indigo, and the Western Music Hour on good old Akashvani seem lifting. But that alone won't do, will it? We want 'Radio' back!

Post abandoning the attempt to re-examine FM waves, I choose to get busy with a C programming manual, only to hear a station feebly calling out a last resort, 'Kolle nannanne' (Kill me, girl).

Second door to your left. Be my guest.


Nakki said...

Ah, What a comeback post i say! motivational speakers for the royally challenged :D... and one more thing you have broken the record in having me to refer more 5 times for dictionary for words in your post.



Boneywasawarriorwayayix said...

I gave up on Radio, long long ago :)
Crisp, to the point :D Nice Read.

honeydew-jia said...

Friday the thaarteenth posht! :D

Hey, AIR FM Rainbow is still there. Reminds me of 5 years ago when Anjaan's show would be something to look forward to every Thursday night. I don't even tune in anymore. :(

Akshata said...

@ Sa:

Yeah, AIR FM rainbow is the Akashvani Bengalooru I refer to. Anjaan is now the saving grace of Radio One. :)

@ boneywasNOTawarrior :p

Thank you. I plan on giving up too. ;)

@ Nakki:

Where have used hi-fi words? :o Unlike you. :p
Unfortunately, jinke mari was not playing when I conducted the channel search. Resisted cheating by otherwise mentioning it. ;)

Boneywasawarriorwayayix said...

BoneyWAS A Warrior. Well at least he



purplestorm said...

...Whitu whitu whitu whitu..whitu Rajnikanthu neenu


I agree.. these days there is more of "jock" talk than actually music, let alone good music.

I used to listen to radio city long back.. then it came down to a show from 9 to 12 every time.. RJ Anjana Phana's show.. she was hilarious.

Now its only Hindi and Kannada.

Indigo isnt helping much.. though Saturdays are good.


Good topic.

Akshata said...

@ Thej:

Fanks. :) You should try listening to Anjaan on Radio one every evening. Pretty ok. Really miss Jonzi, Rohit Barker, Chaitanya Hegde, DARIUS!! Damn.. those were the days :(

The T'Shirt Freak said...

The radio jockeys of old seemed more natural and fresh, they probably didnt have too many qualifications just natural chatter boxes. Now most radio jockeys seem and are trained in workshops/ courses etc... kills the joy of it!

Chaitanya said...

Was a radio addict till i was like 10th, then i gave it up.

Actually I tried it once recently, and switched it off when they started to play a song called "Chitranna" :P

soda said...

Brilliant post!!!Complete thulping u have given off these mindless horses on the radio who call themselves jockeys it seems...what wishful thinking no???

Merin Mandanna said...

Hahaha brilliant!! Exactly what,Im sure,we ALL feel!! First class bashing you've given,Aks!
Indigo is good,yes.. The Barker-Darius-Hegde days were amazing..and Shaggy too.. Remember how girls from our college would go nuts every time Darius came to those JAM sessions? :D hehehe
Oh and the conclusion to this post---THE BEST! :D hahahaha. Too bad no one's killed the fellow yet.

kiran said...

hilarious, entertaining and true to the fact! Listen to vividh bharati. I feel it is a temporary relief at least from the other screeching channels.