Monday, August 18, 2008

F.I.E.N.D.S

They are everywhere. They roam in light as majestically they strut around after dusk, ears on constant alert, sly eyes gauging profit 365/24 and hands..those hands seasoned with a raven’s clasp, prepared to snatch, to rob! Nay, I speak not of professional muggers or miscellaneous con-men but of those silent assassins, those amateur plunderers in sheep’s guise.

Yeah. So. I was on one of those blah-you-men-I-date-myself frenzies and chose to treat self at a popular fast food joint in the city. A slight drizzle through clear Saint Gobains and Bryan Adams tuned to perfection only placed life at perfect peace with the world, perturbed not even by pesky little siblings (twins, by the looks of it) engaged in belligerent tugging of a toy the joint gives away with certain edibles.

My burger and fries were soon gone, like most other good things in life that quietly make their way out of the cat flap when you’re out buying cat food and..never mind. So yeah..I’d eaten all of the burger and fries when mine eyes noticed another joint in the vicinity that sold great donuts, which when clubbed with the choco shake I clasped could conclude lunch on a very merry note. Off I skipped towards the donut store, choco shake in one hand, baggage in the other...when I was *gasps* ROBBED!

Pesky kid from the set of two described earlier sat at the entrance of the joint, looking all gloomy. The XX chromosome that governs most of mine thought, word and action quickly (and involuntarily) triggered its maternity gene, which happens to bear the trait of being nice to biotic offsprings. Gave the little creature a /*warm*/ smile and said, “Grab the toy next time, OK?”.
Species showed no visible reaction.

“Where is the other individual of your kind? And the biotic system governed by XX chromosome that parents you?”

“He spilled ketchup on his shirt. She’s getting him cleaned.”

The creature’s eyes slowly moved and fixed on the beverage in my hand. They brightened, almost as instantaneously as my reflexes triggered to grip the container firmer.

“Can I have that?”

“Umm..my lunch..”

“Its chocolate no?”

“Yeah well..”

I didn’t affirm the request, OK? I didn’t!
Off the choco shake went zooming towards the restrooms, to cause more stain (pain?) or to be gloated on, I know not..

*angst* Why me?
Again, why me? */angst*


You might want to take a note or two off this narration though, specially the implication of not displaying in public edibles crucial for existence and a mental note to not resort to unsolicited conversation with pestilential human offsprings.

*sniff*

13 comments:

honeydew-jia said...

Haha!! HAHAHA!!! I told you to join us instead! I TOLD you. :D

Akshata said...

I was under the impression we went on a date just the previous week. Too much honeydew is also too bad no? :p
Detour en route to magazine publisher. :D

swattalk said...

I have had this "why me?" moments so many times! You know what's worse? sometimes you are hogging on something with utmost interest that you wouldnt notice an UFO landing on the table and there's this urchin watching you eat. Nothing worse than the guilt that takes over, I tell ya! You are helpless! Sorry for the digression, but yes, WHY ME?!

Anonymous said...

Was that me in disguise? :P The kid who stole your choco shake I mean. Sounds very much like something I would do. :D

It's OK, I'll get you a choco shake in Esteem Mall. :P Once I move, of course.

Merin Mandanna said...

I'm surprised you gave it to the kid!!! :P Choco shake,coffee..not what we'd expect Aksie to give away,to random bacchas. A new lesson to learn from huh :P

Akshata said...

Thought you knew me well. :p I didn't give it! I just said 'yes it is chocolate' and the kid ran off with it. Grr.. :x

Merin Mandanna said...

See, i would think you'd snatch it back! :P I would! :P

Akshata said...

NOW you give me ideas, after everything! :-x

purplestorm said...

, “Where is the other individual of your kind? And the biotic system governed by XX chromosome that parents you?”


Did you REALLY question the poor POOR creature like that?

:D

And this sentence was hilarious!
The XX chromosome that governs most of mine thought, word and action quickly (and involuntarily) triggered its maternity gene, which happens to bear the trait of being nice to biotic offsprings.

Akshata said...

I'm not THAT insane, dahling. :p

And heh, I aint no bio student. :D

Anonymous said...

Hey Akshata... I really liked reading the stuff you've posted...Looking forward to the next one! *Hint hint*

krypt said...

Good things always happen to bad people..or something like that if I remember right. ;-)

Pooja said...

This is my favorite...:)